On leadership ... and collaboration

Over the past few months, I've been working on an article with Darden professor, Ryan Quinn. In about 800 words, it discusses the role our culture played in creating the current financial crisis, and the small, personal choices we can make to help enact change. The piece was published in The Washington Post's "On Leadership" section last Friday: http://views.washingtonpost.com/leadership/guestinsights/2009/12/four-questions-for-changing-culture.html
Writing it was a great experience. Not only did I get to try my hand at a new style of writing, I got the opportunity to work closely with a professor who just a year before had stood before my Section B class and cold-called me! To me, this is a testament to the wonderful relationships students and professors can form here at Darden; relationships of creativity and collaboration.

Snowed in

I left New York City just in time! A mere 24-hours after I wrapped up my trek visits and boarded a train back to Rhode Island, the snow started falling. It hasn't stopped. And judging from a recent walk (or rather, attempted walk) with my dog, it's about knee-deep now. Not that this is a bad thing. With a counter-full of baked goods, a Christmas mix on repeat and a tree still un-trimmed, my family's been keeping busy.

NYC Job Trek

Each year, several Darden groups and clubs organize two- to three-day treks to cities near and far, from London to Las Vegas, San Francisco to Charlotte, and Houston to Hong Kong. The aim is to visit companies that don't recruit at Darden on their own turf. And it's the perfect opportunity to find and follow-up on job leads when your search is geographically focused.
Last year, I attended the Media, Entertainment & Sports Club's Washington DC trek. For me, it was a fabulous way to learn about companies, meet with executives and network -- an especially important part of finding a job in the media industry. The trip was so successful, in fact, that tomorrow I jump back on the trek bandwagon.
This year my destination is New York City, where the first-year trek leads have compiled an impressive list of companies to visit, including: NBC, The New York Times, Hearst and ESPN. So excited.

Papers, exams and things that distract me from completing papers and exams

One of the (many) luxuries of second year is being able to take home your papers and exams and complete them at your leisure during exam week. The only problem, of course, is that leisure leaves the door wide open to a whole host of distractions. Chief among them today, has been posting (and anxiously reviewing) all of the photos taken at last night's Darden "prom." See, every half hour for the past three hours, someone new posts their pictures on Facebook, leaving me no choice but to spend a few minutes clicking through the album. The result? Some lightening-fast photo "untags" and just two pages of a six page paper done. Sigh.

New blood, new blogs

This afternoon, the Darden Student Bloggers held its first meeting to welcome its new, Class of 2011 bloggers into the digital fold. As is typical of any b-school gathering, there was plenty of cheese-covered unhealthiness to nibble on as we introduced ourselves, discussed issues of privacy and censorship and talked blogs. Toward the end of the meeting, one of the first years turned to me and asked if I'd experienced any negative recruiting repercussions by being so open about my early struggles at Darden. The question made me pause. I've always looked at this blog as an opportunity to share, in real-time, my relatively unfiltered view of Darden. As a result, it was only natural that I chronicled my DA angst, my long --and sometimes sleepless --nights and my tear-filled Black November. No recruiter has asked me about the posts I've written, but if they did, I'd like to think I'd be proud of them. Sure, they highlight personal weakness. And yes, they call attention to a difficult and far-from-seamless transition. But they're also a testament to my ability to push through. My tenure at Darden has been riddled with moments of self-doubt, aching frustration and even, heartbreak. Yet you know that age-old maxim -- "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? Well, in this case, it's proved true. Each DA spreadsheet I made, each restless night I weathered, each crushing ding I cried over contributed to an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. Because of all these things, I truly believe I'm a stronger person and a better leader. And I don't mind the world (or at least the five people who read this blog) knowing that.

So, as you fresh-faced bloggers take to your keyboards, I urge at least a couple of you to consider being really frank and open about your time at Darden. Own up to the fear, admit to the worry and share the lows as well as the highs. In doing so, you may give up the shiny, near-perfect facade. But you'll get a series of posts that make you realize just how strong you are.

Reconnecting

A couple weeks ago, I took advantage of one of my reading day Fridays to drive two hours down to the bustling metropolis of Roanoke, Va. The Star City of the South. My home for three years.

I hadn't been back since I'd started at Darden and as I drove, I thought about how different my life is now from what it was just five years before when I'd made my first trip to Roanoke. At that point, I thought I'd be a journalist forever. I'd just moved from my native California back to Virginia and was excited to take on a new job, a new newsroom and a new community. But I didn't know a soul.

Fast-forward five years. I'm no longer a journalist. I've traded Southwest Virginia for Central Virginia. And I was heading back to Roanoke to reconnect with a few close friends -- people I'd grown to love and who had supported me as I embarked on a huge life change. At lunch and in a post-lunch meeting, I caught up on the goings-on at my old firm, shared my summer experiences and post-graduation job ambitions and just gossiped. It was fantastic -- like, warm, happy feeling in your stomach fantastic. I was reminded of the wonderful network of friends I have -- friends who care deeply and believe fully. Totally worth the two hour drive.

A night out with the girls

This past Tuesday, I enjoyed a regular night out with five of my favorite Darden ladies. Over dinner and wine we talked about Halloween misadventures, complained about problem sets and offered each other relationship advice. Pretty typical. But as chatter turned to the future, I realized how much I'd miss my girls when we parted ways post-graduation. Happy as I was to toast job offers and signing bonuses, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness that none of my friends' jobs were likely to take them to the Northeast.

I've said here many times how much I value the tight-knit Darden community and in particular, my close circle of friends. And it's true. I really believe that some of the best things I'll take away with me come May are the relationships I've made here ... well that, and a massive diploma.

The silver lining? As we were contemplating the menu at Maya ($12 Tuesdays!), I looked across the restaurant and spotted a table full of first-year women. Like us, they'd traded an extra hour with their cases for a little girl bonding. Nice choice, ladies.

My favorite time of year

... is just about now, when the temperatures start to dip into the '60s, the hills around Charlottesville transform under fall foliage and coffee shops start selling warm apple cider. With the hot, sticky summer a distant memory and a snowy winter still months away, it's time to pull on a sweater and explore the 'ville at its finest. Recently, my boyfriend and I took a "date day" and did just that, hiking and wine-tasting our way through some of the prettiest autumnal scenes around. It was a fantastic break from recruiting and case-reading -- the kind of day that puts everything in perspective. And as I sat outside Veritas, wine glass in hand and cheese plate in reach, I realized how lucky I was to be enjoying another fall in Charlottesville.

Time to get a J-O-B

... or at least, that's what the parade of stressed and suited Darden students would indicate. Yet I have not put on a suit all year. And I'm feeling the pressure. Big time. Problem is, the industry I have my heart set on - media - doesn't recruit on the same schedule or through the same process as other, more popular post-B-school industries, like banking and consulting. While other companies have visited Grounds, toting free water bottles and scouting for incoming MBA classes of 20 or 30, most media companies have no idea what openings they'll have next year. Which leaves me ... stressed.
Both a planner and a worrier, I have spent the last few weeks worrying about not having a plan. In some ways, this worrying has been good. It's spurred me to reach out to Darden alums, scour media websites for job listings and remind myself (sometimes hourly) that "everything will be fine." In other ways, however, this worrying has been ... bad. I've cried, complained and dragged myself around my apartment feeling woeful and sorry for myself. Not attractive. Not even to my very loving and supportive boyfriend.
Yet even in those dark moments, I know I'm on the right track. After all, no one said following your heart was easy.

3 more quarters to go! No!

This afternoon I handed in a take-home final, a paper and two projects and in that one trip to the Faculty Office Building, officially ended my first quarter of second-year. Instead of the usual post-exam euphoria, however, I felt kind of sad about the whole thing. I mean, with one quarter done, and only three more ahead of me, it's just a matter of months until I'm out of Darden and back in the real world. And I'm just not sure I'm ready for that.
See, Darden is like a wonderful cocoon. Sure, we feel job pressure and suffer through late night project work and presentation meetings, but we also spend our waking hours surrounded by our best friends, learning truly interesting things, protected by the student safety-net.
For almost a year and a half I've reveled in this free and easy existence. Yet now I'm starting to feel the clock tick down. All of a sudden, I'm worrying about finding a full-time job, moving to a new city, covering my looming loan payments -- all of the adult issues I'd managed to avoid while here in business school. And it's scary.
So ... who wants a Ph.D?

Second year!

Bonding over food

Last night, my friend Caroline and I had five first-years over to my apartment for dinner. The dinner -- one in a series of NAWMBA potlucks -- was the perfect opportunity for us to get to know some of Darden's new ladies.
As is typical of most Angela/Caroline evenings, there was plenty of wine, food and chit-chat. Over plates of coconut shrimp, prosciutto-wrapped asparagus and chocolate fondue (I mention the menu, because this was one of the VERY rare occasions when we cooked!), Caroline and I talked about a whole range of b-school related experiences -- from participating in class and taking finals, to dating and bar-hopping. And we listened as the first-years shared stories about their learning teams, their sections and their post-Darden ambitions.
Maybe two glasses of wine into the conversation, I realized how short a time it's actually been since we were in these girls' shoes. As they talked about their long hours and moments of self-doubt, I thought how odd it was that just a year ago it was me admitting to those same crises of confidence. Yet there I was last night, trying to lend support and encouragement.
What a difference a year makes.

Family Day

... this year, with family!

Each year in the fall, when Charlottesville is at its prettiest, Darden welcomes its students' families to Grounds. Last year, my family couldn't make it and I had to watch enviously as many of my first-year peers proudly introduced the school to their parents, siblings, spouses, etc. This year, however, my mom and stepdad drove down from East Greenwich, RI, setting up camp in my one-bedroom apartment. Despite the tight squeeze, they had a great time.

On Family Day, they sat in on classes (Valuation and Leading Strategic Change), met my friends and professors and admired the school's column lined courtyards. On Saturday, we went wine-tasting, drove around Crozet and engaged in some good, old-fashioned bonding.

It was a wonderful weekend: one that reminded me not only of how much I enjoy my parents' company, but of how fond I am of Darden and how much I like showing it off.

Dear First Years,

I have to admit, when I first saw you walking the halls, crowding the bar at TNDC and pushing your way en masse to First Coffee, I was a little wary. I mean, I'd just spent an entire year getting to know everyone at Darden, and now, with the 09's departure and your arrival, half the school was again a mystery. I probably took a few days (... or more ...) to get re-acclimated; to make peace with all the unfamiliar faces; to learn the personalities behind those shiny silver name tags.
Yet over the past couple of weeks, you've won me over. In a whirlwind of club events, Pepsico Forum run-ins and FY-SY Peer lunch dates, I've gotten to know several of you and, despite my early trepidation, I've really liked those of you I've met. You're great additions to the Darden community and I'm excited to see what you contribute. So, welcome ... belatedly.

Oh reading days, how I missed you!

One of the great luxuries of attending business school is the reading day -- a day all to oneself without a single class blotting space in your schedule. As an intern, it took me a few weeks to recover from reading day withdrawal and now that I've returned to Darden, I welcome each one of those 24 hours back with open arms.
Ahh, but how to spend them?
Because reading days usually fall on a Friday, you can approach your reading day in one of two ways. One, you could opt for the productive route, viewing the day as an opportunity to catch-up, get ahead, or work on extra-curriculars. Basically, the reading day is an additional work day. Two, you could take the not-so-productive route, viewing the day as a chance to rest up, relax and re-charge ... in short, the reading day makes for a 3-day weekend.
On this particular reading day, I'm going with a blend. I'm writing cover letters and attending meetings, but I also plan on making a trip to the party-supply store and enjoying a couple lazy hours on my new couch.

NAWMBA Welcome Event

This past Friday, the National Association of Women MBA's at Darden (henceforth, NAWMBA) hosted a welcome event for first-years at a winebar on the downtown mall. The event was fantastic -- we filled the event space, wine and conversation flowed freely and I was able to meet and chat with more than a dozen of Darden's newest members.

Back in Charlottesville

I'm a week into my second year at Darden and I'd just like to take the opportunity to dispel the notion that second year is a breezy, golf-filled float to graduation. True, I no longer have 15-case weeks, or hours-long learning team meetings, but I still spend a ton of time on-Grounds (maybe even more than last year!). Each day this week there has been reading to catch up on (in some cases, entire books), bonds to price, club meetings to attend and events to help plan. And to think my expectation was to have wide open gaps in my Outlook calendar!

Yet while the schedule and pace may not have improved, my ability to manage those things certainly has. One of the greatest skills I think we acquire here at Darden is the ability to prioritize what needs to get done, focus in the free hours we have and quickly jump from one thing to the next.

Almost home

Just three more days until my summer in DC ends and I make my way back to Charlottesville. And I have to say, I'm pretty excited about going home.

While I've loved my internship and the chance to explore a new city, I've missed my life at Darden. I've missed my friends, I've missed my apartment and I've missed the b-school community I've become apart of. And what's struck me recently isn't just how much I enjoy being at Darden, it's how temporary my stay there is. One more year and I leave the bubble for good.

Post-presentation work

With my final presentation done, life at the office has entered a new phase. Gone is the feeling of intense pressure once so palpable atop my shoulders. Gone too is the compulsive need to update my PowerPoint decks every 15 minutes. Now, I just have ... work. With a week and a half remaining in my internship, my presentation may have signaled a peak in my summer workload, but it certainly didn't mark the end of it. Today, for example, I had three different meetings on three different projects (two of which I presented on last Friday and one of which is new).

Without the all-consuming stress of my presentation bearing down on me, this return to routine has been a relief. I've gotten the opportunity to work on another new product concept and through it, investigate a couple new marketing channels and meet with a few new faces around the company. But it's also been pretty busy. As I realized during an 8 a.m. Monday chat with my boss, the real world offers no post-presentation reprieve, no prolonged pat-on-the-back. It's simply back to work. Until of course, it's back to school.

Final presentation

For many MBA interns, the summer's work culminates in a big, make-or-break final presentation to company execs. It's a chance to show off the work you've done, bask in some c-level exposure and leave a lasting (and hopefully positive) impression. My final presentation was Friday. And I'm not going to lie, it was a pretty nerve-wracking experience. In the weeks prior, I'd met with employees throughout the firm, fine-tuned business and marketing plans for a new product concept and slaved over dozens of PowerPoint slides. By the time Friday rolled around, I thought I was ready. I'd done five run-throughs, practiced with the projector and clicker and written out my talking points. It still didn't quell my nerves. I think I literally shook as I walked to the front of the boardroom to deliver my presentation ... and then, 45 minutes later, it was done. And the relief set in. While I wasn't sure I handled the Q&A part of my presentation as well as I could have. It was done. I'd achieved one more milestone in my MBA journey.
To celebrate, I went home, poured myself a generous glass of wine and got ready for a weekend that, when compared with my Friday, could only be restful and relaxing.

Plantlife

My office plant is dying.

Okay fine, maybe it's not dying. But, if it's browning leaves are any indication, it's suffering. This plant, or actually this basket of assorted plants, was given to me by my boss as a way to liven up my otherwise sterile office. As a result, its deteriorating state is of great concern. I mean, it's a bad sign when you let the office plant die, right? Doesn't exactly scream "Hire me, I'm responsible!"

Sigh.

Dinners with Nick

Every week, usually on Mondays at about 6, my 16-year-old brother Nick and I meet for dinner. The meals aren't lengthy and they won't continue forever -- we're both in DC this summer as interns -- but they've provided a great way for Nick and I to build a relationship. See, my brother and I haven't always been close. In fact, with 11 years between us, this summer is the first time we've spent concentrated, one-on-one time together. But when Sunday nights like these roll around and I'm staring another 5-days of work in the face, my weekly dinner with Nick is something I look forward to. It serves as a nice reminder of who I am and where I'm from at a time when I'm introducing myself to both a new career and a new city. It's also great to see how much Nick's grown up. When he was a toddler and I was a teenager, he was sometimes mistaken for my child (yes, this is strange). Now, I often wonder if he's confused with my college friends.
Another perk? Because neither he nor I know DC well, we've used the dinners as excuses to get out and explore the city together. A couple weeks ago, we had Thai food in Dupont, last week, it was Mediterranean food in Woodley Park and tomorrow, we'll meet for pizza in Chinatown. Over plates of pad thai and baskets of pita, we chat about work (he's interning with a member of Congress, something I did 10 years ago), family and friends. We laugh. And sometimes, I forget all the years between us.

Work: The Half-Way Point

While it seems like just yesterday I was sweating through first-day-of-work jitters, a second glance at my Outlook calendar confirms it: I'm half-way through my summer internship. My final presentation is a mere three weeks away. And my stay in DC ends in just over a month. I guess that means it's time for an update ... and this time, I'll try and stick to what I've learned on the job.
First, there's definitely something to be said for being part of a well-established MBA internship program. For decades, the company I work for has hired its next generation of managers from its pool of summer interns. As a result, the internship program emphasizes real world experience, impactful projects and significant company exposure. Each week, my fellow interns and I have lunch with at least two or three executives. Casual and intimate (there are only 5 MBA interns), these lunches give us the opportunity to learn about a variety of departments, introduce ourselves and share our impressions of the company and the industry. It's been great.
Second, "impactful projects" = real responsibility. And this is particularly true when you're in an industry like media, which is under significant pressure to change. One of the projects I'm working on involves taking a new program from concept to launch. I realized pretty quickly that the figures I keyed into my spreadsheets represented not only real dollars, but real risk: the risk of trying new things at a time when resources are scarce and the need for innovation is palpable.
Third, you can learn a lot about a place from the way people approach their jobs. One of the things I appreciate most about the firm I work for is the enthusiasm people have for the product and its legacy. There's a real sense of pride that comes through when executives talk about their commitment to journalism. And that pride trickles down throughout the organization.

Weekend in NY

While I love getting to know DC - my temporary home - summer wouldn't be summer without a few weekends away. This past weekend, I went up to New York to spend time with my boyfriend and also, to enjoy a girls' day out with one of my closest Darden girlfriends. I'd been looking forward to the trip for weeks, in large part because of the aforementioned "girl time." Now, for the male readers of my blog [if there are any ... or even any readers :) ], "girl time" is what we call those sacred hours spent gabbing and giggling ... when the conversation flows as freely as the wine (or in our case, the mimosas) and covers topics as various as work pressures, family issues, boy drama (little to report, thankfully!) and life's little embarrassments. Often, it includes a meal or some stereotypically female activity, like shopping. Since my friend and I hadn't seen each other in what seemed like ages, but was really maybe a month, we decided to include both. Saturday kicked off with brunch and mimosas served, literally, by the pitcher. Then it was off to the shops where we spent some of our hard earned paychecks pumping up the city's retail sales figures. Finally, we capped the day off with a visit to Magnolia's Bakery and a couple scoops of gelato. Perfect.

Catching up with friends old and new

In the four weeks since I arrived in DC, I've spent most of my weekends and dinner hours catching up with folks from my pre-B-school life. College friends, work-life friends ... friends I'd neglected for much of the nine months I was in Charlottesville. Over lunch, dinner and drinks, we played catch up on months' (and in one instance, years') worth of life changes, from break-ups and new relationships, to home purchases and book deals. The conversations offered a chance at reconnection, and they reminded me how much my friends have done and gone through while I was toiling away in Darden's LT rooms.
And what of those that toiled alongside me? Well, this past weekend, I finally met up with several of my "Darden friends." It was great to hear about their internships -- not only the projects they were working on, but their transitions back into the working world. With our shared first year experience as a foundation, we talked about how useful our spreadsheet skills had proven, how much we missed our 5-hour work days and how rewarding it was to be tasked with real responsibility in our jobs.
So, what's on tap for this coming weekend? A trip to New York!

Work: Week 1

I survived! For all my stress and sleeplessness, I made it through the first week of my internship! And, while I feel a little sheepish admitting it (given the extreme nervousness that pervaded my last post), it was a great week. I lucked out with an interesting summer project that combines my editorial background and my newly honed business skills. And, I really like my supervisor, the company's VP of marketing. Oh, and one other thing ... I have an office! For a former cubicle dweller, this in and of itself, is a big deal.
But before I let the office situation get to my head (hah!), here are a couple things to note about Week 1:
First, with just 10 weeks of work, orientation is minimal and a lot of the training is on-the-job. For me, this meant jumping into project work on my first day and drawing up financial projections on day 2! Initially I felt a little overwhelmed, but once I opened up Microsoft Excel, I realized I actually knew what I was doing ... such a relief.
Second, returning to five day a week, 10-hour days takes some adjustment after a year in school. By day 3, I was definitely in need of a reading day! (Maybe this is why second years seem so much more appreciative of the Darden experience ... )
Third, once I got over my reading day withdrawal, I realized how much I enjoy working on projects that will actually be implemented. Fun as it is to debate and discuss within the classroom, this is what I came back to school for: the opportunity to bring exciting new ventures from launch to implementation.

Internship countdown

I return to the working world on Monday and I have to admit, I'm pretty anxious ... not quite up-all-night anxious, but definitely churning-stomach anxious. According to my boyfriend (who at the moment is unhelpfully located in London), this anxiety has made me a bit sensitive; a bit testy. Probably true, but in my mind, totally justified.
For a born worrier, there's just so much to stress out about. First: proving myself. I've spent the past 9 months at Darden working incredibly hard on subjects that were initially quite foreign to me. During my internship, I'm really hoping to prove to myself and others that this was time and energy well-spent. But what if I can't? What if instead of confidently applying concepts and frameworks, I fumble and flail? (See, this IS scary stuff.)
Second: learning as much as I can. During Q4, I took a class called Establishing Yourself at Work. In several class discussions, my peers and I talked about how we could position ourselves to both learn as much as possible, and provide as much value as possible to our summer employers. It's a tough balancing act and I want to make sure I do it right. And again, what if I can't?
Third: adjusting to work outside the newsroom. As I've mentioned a number of times on this blog, I'm a former journalist who is switching to the business side of media. I've been lucky enough to land an internship that helps in that transition, but I'm worried about how it'll feel to work "on the other side." So far I haven't missed writing and reporting, but what if I find that I do now? Or that the skills I used so effectively as a reporter don't translate as well as I'd thought?
Clearly, there is enough here to keep me in a tizzy for the next 48 hours and distraction is in order ... That's my cue to step away from my computer and explore DC.

Packing up

After a relaxing two and a half week break from Charlottesville, I have returned and now face the dreaded task of packing. Picture this: two open suitcases, a bed full of clothes and shoes strewn everywhere. Sigh. You'd think that after more than a dozen moves, I'd learn how to pack efficiently, but given the state of my bedroom, this is clearly not the case. Like my mother, I'm an over packer -- especially when it comes to months-long relocations. And that's what this is. On Thursday, I depart for a three-month stint in D.C. where I have a business development internship with a large media company. I'm pretty excited. Not only am I interning in an industry I love, but I've been assigned a great project and have the opportunity to live in a city I've always liked.
The only hurdle, of course, is filling these suitcases.

A much needed break

I'm home! After a 10 hour drive (with two shrieking cats), I arrived at my mother's house in East Greenwich, RI last night, utterly exhausted. It wasn't just the drive that did me in. I also blame the two weeks of craziness that marked the end of my first Darden school year. See, before I left town, there was a long list of things to be done. On the practical side: taking exams, finishing class projects (including the infamous Enterprise Leadership Audit), updating club websites, packing for a summer away and cleaning my apartment. And then there were the social events: the barbecues, the bonfires, the bar nights and the aptly-named "End of the World" party. Combine the two and you get a schedule with nary a minute to relax and recover.
So yeah, it's good to be home. Not only am I looking forward to spending Mother's Day with my mom for the first time in 10 years, I'm also hoping to get a little rest before my summer internship begins June 1. I'm off to a good start. Last night, I slept for a solid 10 hours. It was almost enough to make up for my 10 hour drive.

One more exam

... four hours of Data Analysis and Optimization, and likely 20+ pages of hypothesis tests, regressions, sensitivity reports and scatter plots, and my first year at Darden will come to a close. Now, I've said many a time that the months have rushed by, but these last couple in particular seem to have passed at warp speed. I mean, wasn't Spring Break just last week? Uh, no, it wasn't. In fact, I've apparently sat through 75 classes (5 courses) between then and now. But really, that's how it feels.

And this is something I hope my peers and I conveyed to the hundreds of prospective students Darden hosted last weekend for Darden Days: the time goes quick, so engage in and enjoy as much as possible.

Throughout this year of tremendous highs (internship offer!) and devastating lows (Q1 confusion), there are definitely moments when you need to lock yourself away in your apartment and bust out a few spreadsheets. But the more memorable moments, to me at least, are those when you're out engaging with the rest of this incredible community ... the girls' nights at Continental Divide, the section parties at abandoned frat houses (oh, only our section did that?) and the club receptions at Dean Bruner's. When stress levels are at their peak, real, rest-of-your-life friendships are forged. To me, that's been the best thing about Darden. Yes, I've learned a ton. Yes, I'll go into my internship prepared and confident. But most of all, yes, I'll walk away from this year feeling a part of a community.

I hope the Class of 2011 got a taste of what that's like at Darden Days. Friday night's dinner at King Family Vineyards highlighted Darden at it's finest. The setting was absolutely beautiful, the food and drink were plentiful and the company was phenomenal. I honestly have no idea how anyone could walk away from that event unsure about coming here in the fall.

Foxfield

As a double 'hoo, Foxfield -- a day devoted to outdoor drinking and supposed horse-watching -- has long been a much-anticipated part of my springtime entertainment. During my undergrad days, my friends and I would don our sundresses, string on some pearls and enjoy a day at the races tailgate style. Drinks would be poured from the back of SUVs and pickup trucks, and hours would be spent wandering from one raucous plot to the next. This year, however, things were a tad classier. There was a tent (a welcome upgrade given the 92 degree heat), a series of tables and chairs and a catered lunch. All in all, a much more adult set-up than I've enjoyed at Foxfields gone by.

Spring socializing

It's spring and, with the weather warming up, socializing in Charlottesville has become much more appealing. There's no need to drag your winter coat into college bars or to trudge through snow in 3-inch heels. Nope, now is what I like to call sit-on-the-patio-in-a-sundress time. And, thanks to Darden's social organizers, there are activities aplenty.

Yesterday, for example, about 40 to 50 Darden students and their significant others boarded buses to visit the local wineries and breweries. My girlfriends and I opted for a tour of the Barboursville and Horton Vineyards. On the 6-hour tour, we learned more than we'll probably ever need to know about Charlottesville viniculture, sipped glasses of Chardonnay and returned home exhausted. Up next? Easter brunch at the Horse and Hound. Not a bad way to enjoy a Central Virginia spring.

Forte Foundation Conference

For those incoming female MBAs, I just wanted to write a quick note about the Forte Foundation's upcoming conference in New York City. The two-day affair (June 26-27) is a great way to network with women in a variety of MBA programs.
I attended last year and got advice on everything from transitioning to b-school and maintaining work/life balance, to finding a non-traditional internship. Plus, being at the conference somehow made attending Darden in the fall much more of a reality!
Curious? Check out the foundation at www.fortefoundation.org.

Birthday

So, it was my birthday last weekend and, because I wholeheartedly believe in being self-indulgent on your birthday, I not only drank way too many champagne cocktails, I also got a little nostalgic. Lolling in bed, nursing a headache, I tried to think of all my little girl dreams and of those, how many I'd actually accomplished.
Become a veterinarian serving a clientele of puppies, kittens and bunnies? Nope.
Own a home with built-in bookshelves and a breakfast nook? Also, no.
Write the next great American novel? Hah.
As I kept counting things off, I quickly realized that my life is nothing like what I imagined it would be like at the tender age of 6. I'm back in school and, as a career-switcher, somewhat careerless. I own a car and two closets' full of clothes, but nothing more substantial than that. And, the only semi-creative writing I've done recently has been this blog. Judged against my little girl standards, I'm sort of a sorry case.
But when I think about my life at 27, I'm actually quite satisfied. I'm here at Darden, preparing to transition to the business side of media (an industry I truly believe in). I have fabulous friends (who provide not only champagne, but also aspirin). And, without the responsibilities of home ownership, marriage and motherhood, I'm free to pursue my passions as I see fit. All in all, I've gotten to a great place, one I'm proud of and happy in.
Over the past 21 years, I've come to grips with the fact that I may never be able to check off veterinary sciences or the great American novel. And I'm perfectly okay with that. Of course, I'm still holding out for that breakfast nook.

Changes, choices

It seems like I begin every quarter with a discussion of what's changed and, in keeping with the trend, this post will offer a brief sample of what's new in Q4.
First ... choice!
For the majority of our first-year, my peers and I have diligently worked through Darden's core curriculum. Kept on the same schedule (three classes, 8 a.m. to 1:10 p.m.) and in the same room, we've learned Finance, Decision Analysis, Marketing, Accounting, Economics and Leading Organizations together. Yet now, during Q4, we've started to diverge. While we all still take Leading Organizations and Ethics, we also have three electives ... meaning that for the first time, we have the ability to choose classes based on interest and need. The result is an interesting split. With summer internships looming, there have been noticeable divisions: the bankers are in Valuation; the marketers, Marketing Intelligence, and the consultants, the Consulting Process.
Second ... leadership transition. As I mentioned earlier, the time has come for second-years to cede club positions to their first-year successors. For those successors (myself included), this means taking on new responsibilities and stepping up to provide real impact. Of course, as with anything, more responsibility equates with more demands on our time. But I'm sure I'm not alone in believing it's worth it. As an example, the new leadership team for the Media, Entertainment & Sports club met this week to hash out plans for next year. For me, the meeting was a great reminder of my peers' enthusiasm for, and their dedication to making life (and job-hunting) easier for fellow Dardenites.
Third ... internship prep. With just a couple months between me and my internship, I'm starting to worry about how to make the most of my summer. I want to feel confident going in that I'll be able to contribute and lately, that's meant taking stock of all that I've learned at Darden. Just from a cursory glance around my bedroom, that's about two feet worth of cases and technical notes.

Spring Break!

It's Spring Break and, perhaps in an effort to recapture beach weeks of years past, I am enjoying my break in Mexico. So far, it's been glorious. The weather in Playa del Carmen has been perfect -- mid-80's, slight ocean breeze; the resort is fantastic and stretching out poolside is a welcome change from curling up in front of my laptop.
Another welcome change? Apart from this evening's brief blog session, I'm completely unplugged here. No email. No texts. No phone calls. No meeting space meetings. In fact, I wouldn't even be online now if it weren't for Jordan, who apparently needed to check his stocks this morning (some things never change, even when you're surrounded by miles of white-sand beaches and endless margaritas). What makes this break from technology so remarkable is my Darden-fostered addiction to my Blackberry. Now, long before I walked Darden's halls, I'd heard about the dangers of the so-called "crackberry." But now I know it's true. In the past six months, I am rarely without my calculator-sized best friend. And because of it, I'm rarely inaccessible. I have friends with whom I'll email and text almost simultaneously ... 5 minutes before I see them face-to-face.
But not here in Mexico. Here, the sound of my phone has been replaced by the sound of the ocean and the blinking light of waiting emails has been replaced by the twinkle of stars. Give me a few more days and I might miss these signs of connectedness, but for now I'll relish the much-needed break.

Bidders welcome

A few posts ago, I wrote about the trials and tribulations of off-Grounds recruiting. Now, I'd like to tell a more uplifting story; a story about scrappy job-hunting.
But first, some background...
Here at Darden, students earn interview slots with recruiting companies in two ways. The first (and more traditional) route is by getting on the company's closed list. The second is by bidding.
At the start of recruitment season, all first years are given a specified number of points with which they can bid on a small number of interview slots set aside by companies. The highest bidders win spots on the company's interview schedule and, with luck, the opportunity to move on to second-round interviews. People bid for a couple reasons. Some might have missed the application deadline. Others, however, simply didn't make the closed list.
So, who would bid on an interview they'd already been rejected from?
Uh ... me.
In January I didn't make the closed list for my top choice on-Grounds company. It hurt my feelings. Badly.
But it also motivated me to prove them wrong. So, I bid on the interview and got it. Then I got a second round interview. And early last week, I got an internship offer. See, a happy ending!
Also, an ending with some important takeaways:
First, some people's experiences/personalities/leadership qualities simply can't be sold on paper. They have to be talked about.
Second, don't let anyone tell you you can't do what you want.
Third, bid.

Taking the reigns

Now is the time of year when the leaders of Darden's many clubs and student organizations hand the reigns over to members of the class of 2010. For us first-years, this can be daunting as well as exciting. After all, in just a few short months, the second-years with whom we've shared the halls will be back to work and we'll be left to guide and support a new crop of Dardenites. For someone who sometimes still feels like a newbie, this is a kind of crazy notion. I mean, I know I've made huge personal strides here, but am I really capable of helping others do the same?

I hope so. I've come to realize that one of the great things about this school is people's willingness to get actively involved in making Darden better.

The Darden experience

A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to be a part of Darden's Perspectives campaign, an ad campaign featuring members of the Darden community talking about their experiences here at school (http://www.darden.virginia.edu/html/standard.aspx?menu_id=182&id=16954). I readily agreed and the piece I submitted is below. Since its submission, the ad's been tweaked and edited, but I thought I'd post the original here. It explains why I came to Darden and, for those newly admitted prospective students out there, it offers a taste of the kinds of changes you can expect next year.

In my mind, there are numbers people and there are words people. I arrived at Darden firmly established as a words person. An English major by education and a writer by trade, I loved nothing better than a beautifully crafted sentence. But a beautifully crafted spreadsheet? Not really my thing.
In the halls of Darden, however, they make no such distinctions. We’re all first-years. And, whether you come from consulting, banking or -- like me -- left field, you’re expected to leverage and un-leverage betas, draw up balance sheets and model risk.
A novice in the arts of Microsoft Excel, I often found it challenging to meet this expectation. During my first semester, I spent hours upon hours highlighting cases, flipping through textbooks and running Monte Carlo simulations. At times, it was exhausting. But really, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I arrived at business school determined to stretch myself. I knew I’d be attending one of the most rigorous MBA programs in the world, but knew, too, that it was just this type of program that could transform a words person like me into the business leader I wanted to become. Within Darden’s student led discussions and case method curriculum, I’d learn not only the fundamentals of finance, but how to make, analyze and communicate complex business decisions.
As I go through my own transformation here in Charlottesville, businesses across the globe are also in flux. Faced with a down economy, they face mounting pressure to cut costs, increase efficiency and find new revenue streams. Perhaps now more than ever, these companies need leaders willing to take risks and innovate.
Darden is a training ground for such leaders.
Each day, I’m forced to deal with the unexpected; to run the numbers, to make the recommendations, but also to react. And, as I think to my future, and my plans to return to a media industry in tumult, I can’t imagine better preparation. Here at Darden, the days are long and the work is hard, but there is nothing like the confidence that comes with meeting high expectations.
So far it hasn’t been enough to change me into a numbers person, but I have to admit, I can craft some beautiful spreadsheets.

Comfort and confidence

So, along with interview angst and return-to-school trepidation, the start of Q3 has brought some significant changes.

Among them, new sections. In a few of my earlier posts, I may have mentioned that I spent my first semester at Darden as a Section B-er. Each of the first year class's five sections has its own traditions and thus, being in Section B meant that I: a) often wore orange, b) frequently attended parties with a stuffed Big Bird doll, and c) sang an ode to section solidarity every Friday afternoon.

But no longer.

This past week I became part of a new section -- Section 3. And, while I have high hopes for this new group of peers ... it's just not the same. I miss the camaraderie and the closeness of my former section. Now admittedly, I was not the biggest ra-ra Section B-er. In fact, sometimes I was a little reluctant to pull on my Big Bird polo (sorry fellow B readers, it's just not my favorite look...). But being thrown into a new section has made me much more appreciative of the people, the atmosphere and yes, the traditions that made Section B, B.

See, in Section B (even while sitting in cold call alley), I felt comfortable. I knew my peers and trusted that when I finally got over my shyness and threw out a comment or two, they'd be kind. They wouldn't judge me -- even if I said something idiotic. Eventually this sense of comfort led to confidence and, while I was never the biggest contributor to class discussions, I eventually become a much more active participant.

So what happens now that I'm in a new section? Well honestly, I've been in what I like to call "observation mode" (read: "silent"). Blessed with a seat in the back row (affectionately called "the sky deck"), I spent the first few days of Q3 classes listening to my new section-mates' comments and trying to get up the courage to offer a few of my own. It's worked a few times but I know I need to do better.

But how do you rush comfort and with it, confidence?

Interviews?!

I arrived back in Charlottesville last week to interview madness. For those first years on the banking and consulting tracks, it is suit-up-and-sell season -- a time when many are anxiously clicking on the Career Development Center's website scanning closed lists, holing up in learning team rooms for case prep and mock interviews, and receiving their first internship offers.
Me ... not so much.
The majority of my job search has been, and will continue to be, off-grounds. This poses all sorts of interesting dilemmas.
First, I'm on a totally different time frame than many of my peers. I, for one, do not have interviews this week. And, while I've put in some time prepping, it could easily be more than a month before I begin to hear back from some of the companies I'm interested in. On my bad days, this time gap makes me nervous and I begin to question whether it might not be best to start throwing my resume into contention for jobs that have a very clear interview and offer schedule. On my better days, however, I pat myself on the back for staying true to my interests.
Second, off-grounds jobs are, as implied by their name, more difficult to find. Throughout the past few months, I've become a daily presence on a variety of job sites. Sometimes I turn up hidden jewels. Other times though, I'm filtering through the same internships I spotted last week.
Third, often I feel like I am sending my applications into a great abyss. Unlike on-grounds recruiting, where you get to attend briefings, meet face-to-face with recruiters and submit your application through the CDC, applying online means you're often left in the dark about who is reviewing your resume and when they might contact you.
It all sounds so frustrating, doesn't it? Honestly, there are moments when it is. But then I think about what brought me to Darden. It definitely wasn't the dream of becoming an I-banker. While that may work for many of my peers, it's a job I know I'd hate. And I guess that makes waiting a little easier.

2009!

It's resolution time and, while I'm not usually one for advertising faults (hah!), it might be nice to have a list to reference during what's sure to be an interesting year. So without further ado, my 2009 New Year's Resolutions:

1. Dial down the stress. I'm a major worrier, but as I get older I'm realizing that I tend to create a lot of my own anxiety. Need to stop doing that.

2. Stay true to the reasons that brought me to business school. With the pressure of finding a job in a struggling economy, it would in some ways be easier to throw my resume at any job posting I find. But that would steer my focus away from what I truly love and what truly drives me.

3. Patience! This is one I've been working on for years and fully expect to be chipping away at for the rest of my life.

4. Stop texting and driving. I'm embarrassed to admit I do this, but I do ... I mean I did.

Family & Friends

One of the things I missed most during my hectic days at Darden are those just-hanging-out moments with family and friends. Luckily, I've had ample time and opportunity for that over winter break. During much of my time in Tokyo, I explored the city with my mom, stepdad and 17-year-old sister. Once I returned stateside, I was a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. And, this past week, I took a trip up to New England with my boyfriend. Throughout it all, it's been wonderful to reconnect. Rather than trying to fit phone conversations in between learning team and case prep, I actually got to sit down face-to-face with the ones I love. During extended lunches, car rides and shopping trips, our conversations ranged from serious to silly and giggly to tearful (weddings bring out all kinds of emotions).

For me, these talks have acted as much-needed reminders of how full my life is. While business school can often feel like the end-all, be-all, it really isn't. Out here in the real world, I'm not just a Darden first-year. I'm also a daughter, sister, friend and significant other. And each of those roles is important to me.