Thoughts from Tokyo

Before I begin the holiday break edition of this blog, I just want to acknowledge that Q2 finals are now over. And, while I could indulge in a little finals flashback (read: whine-fest), I've decided my type-time is better spent happily chattering away about my vacation from Darden. Because really, there is no way for me to adequately describe what it's like to endure five five-hour final exams in a row, except to say that it was quite a week. And that I survived.

So, moving on ...

With finals an almost distant memory, I arrived in Tokyo Sunday evening for a two-week family vacation. Thus far, it's been awesome. Armed with a guidebook and a subway map, I've spent the past couple days getting to know Tokyo the way I love getting to know any new country or city: aimless wandering. Today, for example, I braved chilly, rainy weather and headed to Ueno and the Tokyo National Museum. While I enjoyed the collection of Buddha statues, swords and paintings, half the adventure was figuring out the Tokyo subway system. I'll just add here that I am a big fan of easy-to-navigate public transportation.

In addition to wandering, I've also taken a lot of photos ... of plastic food. Yup, that's right: plastic food. In Japan, it's really popular for restaurants to advertise their offerings by displaying plastic versions of menu items. They're amazingly detailed and, if you ignore the sheen, pretty realistic. My boyfriend keeps telling me to photograph temples and skyscrapers, but for some reason I keep coming back to the plastic food. It's kitschy! And I love it.

Leaving the bubble

There are just three exams standing between me and a much-needed, 5-week vacation and I have to admit, it's getting a little hard to concentrate on my Operations notes. Instead of focusing on inventory carrying costs, reorder points and process capabilities, my mind keeps wandering to my post-test plans. And how could it not? The coming break will be the first time since graduating from college that I've been able to enjoy the holidays without rushing back to work a day or two after Christmas. Plus, I've got quite a packed schedule. On Saturday I will be leaving Charlottesville behind and traveling to Tokyo for two weeks. Then, it's back to Virginia for my best friend's wedding and immediately thereafter, I head to New England for New Year's.
Yet while I'm excited to (finally!) get away, it's going to be kind of odd to step outside the Darden bubble. Since arriving in Charlottesville in late July, I've made two forays into Richmond, but other than that, I've been limited to the 10-mile radius around Darden. It's gotten to the point where I've almost forgotten what a normal conversation sounds like (scratch the references to revenue recognition, right?).
And that's not good. Because before I came to Darden, I had a pretty full life: I read books, I baked, I had long chats with friends and family, I played sports, and occasionally, I spent entire days curled up on my couch watching mindless TV.
So here are my great aims for this vacation: reconnect with the person I was before I came to business school. Take advantage of a case-less, Outlook-free existence. Have a normal conversation.
Oh, but wait ... I guess I need to get Operations, Finance and Marketing out of the way first.

Relationship adjustments

For me, the most exciting moment of the past week was not the end of Q2, my four hours at the Darden prom or the day I realized I'd soon be en route to Tokyo. While those were all good moments to be sure, they pale in comparison to the moment when my boyfriend, a Darden second year, learned he'd been offered a place in a competitive leadership development program. I don't think I've ever been happier for, or prouder of, someone. And yes, I cried.
But don't worry, this is not where I start waxing lyrical about the wonderful attributes of my significant other (although I could). Instead, this is where I write about something I've thought a lot about in recent weeks: how will his job affect where I go and what I do?
See, I've never been much of a follower. Until now, all of my relocation decisions have been based on what's best for me.
Not this time though. This time, I want what's best for us.
Job-wise, that has some interesting implications. Initially, it means finding a summer internship that will best position me to find a permanent job wherever Jordan is. And come next year, it'll mean my job search will be limited not just by industry and function, but also by geography.
While a few years ago, this would have been unthinkable, I've realized that to ensure a relationship will work, I have to make ... adjustments (I won't call them concessions).

Second quarter down!

And with a cover letter-crazy flourish, it's done ... Q2 that is. I know I've said this before, but it is mind boggling how fast my time at Darden is flying by (of course, I didn't think that 2 posts ago when I was deep in the midst of Black November, but hey, it's December and my perspective has changed). What a quarter it's been, too. What with Finance and Economics and multi-day simulations, I think I've made it to just one TNDC (Thursday Night Drinking Club) event.
So what have I been doing with myself? Well sadly, I've spent a socially-unacceptable amount of time studying. As previously mentioned, the course-load this quarter was pretty quant-heavy. And trying to make sense of IS/LM shifts, free cash flows and marketable securities accounting took a looooong time. Still does, actually.
Then, of course, there's the job hunt -- that harsh romp-with-reality forced on all of us peddling resumes in a down economy. In the past couple weeks, I've spent countless hours scanning the Career Development Center's website, searching for off-Grounds job postings and writing cover letters. It's a seriously time-consuming process. And ideally, it's a process that spurs moments of real self-introspection: what kind of job do I want? How does that compare with the kinds of jobs I could realistically get? What would this or that job mean for my personal life? How would this job vs. that job position me for full-time employment? And on it goes ...
With so many things crowding my to-do list, it's easy to see why my social life has taken a hit. Tonight however, offers me a chance to redeem myself. Even though exams begin Monday and I desperately need to study, tonight I will put on a dress, blow dry my hair and strap on some 3-inch heels. For what better way to celebrate the end of Q2 and the impending holidays, than a charity auction and ball. That's right folks, it's Darden prom!

Black Friday

I know that yesterday was technically the day for giving thanks, but this year I am most thankful today, the day after Thanksgiving. For the past three years, I covered regional business for The Roanoke Times and it was my unhappy duty to write about Black Friday. For those unfamiliar with this very American phenomenon, let me explain: Black Friday is one of the most popular shopping days of the year. It's a day when thousands of people wake up at ungodly hours to claim coveted items at ridiculous discounts. Usually, things are pretty festive. I've interviewed many a shopper who views their early morning dash-to-the-deals as a holiday tradition. In the past, however, it has been far from festive for me.
Covering this event, you see, meant dragging my bleary-eyed self out of bed at 3 or 4 a.m. when most of my family and friends remained tucked up in bed, soundly sleeping off their dinners. And I didn't even get to score any $400 flat screen TVs! Instead, I'd pull into near-full parking lots, shake my head at the dozens of people lining up to pounce on the aptly-named "door busters," and interview them. Hours later, when these same happy shoppers walked away from the mall dragging bags stuffed with purchases and mentally calculating the money they'd saved, I'd wander back to my car with a notebook full of quotes, mentally composing the next day's story.
But not this year. This year, I slept. And believe me, while I might have missed out on $5 sweaters and $12 universal remote controls, I cannot imagine a better way to spend Black Friday.

Black November

... sounds ominous, huh? And maybe a little over dramatic? Well that's what I thought when I first heard the phrase. "How hard could it be," I thought to myself, "I've been in the working world! I know rigor!"
Oh, the naivete...
What with 36-hour simulations, recruiting events that go long into the night, chapters of reading, cover letter deadlines, WACC calculations and a persistent sniffle, this month has been bad. As in, no sleep bad. Grumpy all the time bad. Constant headache bad. Baaaad.
Thankfully, the end is near. Though I often find it hard to think beyond the next day's caseload, I managed to check my Outlook calendar yesterday and realized that I'm halfway through with this dreaded month. And just days away from Thanksgiving and a blessed 5-day reprieve from class!

Faculty chats

Recently, Darden's faculty was named number one in the nation. But here's a confession: apart from my in-class interactions with my professors, I didn't really take advantage of this resource at all last quarter.
This quarter, however, I have. Motivated in part by a few less-than-stellar participation grades, I started sending emails to my professors asking to meet with them. So far, my trips to the faculty office building have been incredibly rewarding. Not only have my professors listened to my concerns, they've made real efforts to understand where I'm coming from and offered helpful advice. Given my relatively quiet disposition, these one-on-one meetings have gone a long way in increasing my comfort (and maybe even confidence) in class. I'm still far chatty, but more and more I'm starting to come out of my shell.

New Prospectives

Just days after beginning classes in August, I, like many of my first year peers, volunteered to act as a host for prospective students. Because we're usually paired with people of similar geographic, educational and/or professional backgrounds, it didn't surprise me that months went by with nary a word from Student Admissions. After all, how many California-raised, UVa-educated reporters are out there looking at business schools? Even given recent newsroom layoffs, not many.
Still, I got an email last week that I'd (finally!) get to play Darden host. And at 9:30 Monday morning there I was, name tag glinting, ready to usher a prospective student through First Coffee and Global Economics and Markets. The experience was great -- not only because I got to see the caliber of people Darden is attracting, but because I had the chance to reflect on and share what business school has meant to me. And it's meant a lot.
Since I arrived in Charlottesville this summer, I've learned how to build intricate models and spreadsheets, draw up income statements and balance sheets, navigate tricky employment relationships and find Operations' infamous bottlenecks.
Day to day, it's often difficult to step back and realize how much I've been exposed to here at Darden. But talking to my prospective and answering her questions really helped me see the big picture: that though difficult and nerve-wracking, this school has widened my horizons in ways I never previously imagined.
And, while it seems like just yesterday that I was in her shoes, filling out applications and touring Grounds, it's been a transformative three and a half months. I only hope I was able to convey that to her.

Autumn in C'ville

Admission: I love Charlottesville, especially in the fall. The weather's brisk, the leaves are changing and there's ample opportunity to engage in traditional Autumn activities (note apple picking photos above).

When I first started thinking about business schools, Darden rose to the top of the list not only because of its stellar reputation, but also because attending Darden would bring me back to C'ville.

A double 'hoo, I first fell in love with this city about 10 years ago. I was a junior in high school on a college visit with my dad. As a native Californian, UVa wasn't even on my radar - my target list was almost all UC's. But then I took a tour of Grounds. Particularly in the fall, UVa is stunning. It's brick and columns look even more stately set against a backdrop of orange leaves. The lawn becomes a playground for fleece-clad frisbee players. And it doesn't get more quintessentially college than treking across Jefferson's "academical village" clutching a cup of coffee and a book. Ten years ago, I knew it was the perfect place for me. Today I feel the same way.

But don't just take it from me, the New York Times has also found a few reasons to travel down to the 'ville: http://travel.nytimes.com/2008/10/26/travel/26hours.html?ref=travel.

Re-charging

After the past few weeks of hardcore studying and socializing, a re-charge weekend is in order. And lucky for me, the weather cooperated. Rainy and autumn-crisp, it's a perfect curl-up-on-the-couch kind of day.
Unlike weekends past (and future), there will be no costume parties tonight, no late nights out. In fact, as I type, my boyfriend is reclining in his "man chair" watching football. We've got a pot of stew bubbling in the kitchen. And I'm shaking off a mid-afternoon nap. Lovely.
Necessary, too. Because at Darden, the constant cycle of classes, cases and company briefings can easily lead to burnout. To keep it at bay, you need a lazy day every now and again -- a day when you can shove away your case binder and Corporate Finance textbook and leave them unopened until, well, Sunday.

Q2

Q2 began bright and early Monday morning and with it, a couple of new courses: Financial Management & Policies and Global Economies & Markets. For an English and History major like me, classes like these strike fear in my heart.
... it's the numbers. Quantitative analysis just doesn't seem to come naturally to me. In fact, it's sort of a foreign language. Yet here I am: reading income statements like I once read Jane Austen and checking ratios like I used to check grammar. And that's a good thing. Because if there's one thing I realized in Q1, it's that I'm about to learn a phenomenal amount about subjects I once shirked from. Ask me again in a couple weeks and I may not be fluent. But I just may be conversant.

Done!

It's hard to believe, but Q1 is done and I am officially a quarter of the way through my first year at Darden! As expected, there's been a fair amount of celebration.

Following Wednesday's Accounting final, dozens of first years flooded the Corner, proving to all onlookers that we fully subscribe to the "work hard, play hard" approach to B-school. And it didn't stop there. Tonight, for example, is the famed 100 Case party. With an 80's theme, a "secret location," and 360 of our closest friends, it's sure to be an interesting evening.

... and then there was one

One final, that is. And when it ends (3 p.m. tomorrow!!!!), my first round of Darden exams will be done. I'm counting the hours.
Because here's the thing with finals season. Without class or late night learning team meetings, I have a lot more time to myself. I go to the gym, I visit the grocery store, I spend quality time with my boys (cats Karl and Angus), I blog. But I also spend long hours anticipating the next test.
I am, by nature, a chronic worrier. I stress out about things big (go to school? or keep working?) and small (does my watch match my earrings? if it doesn't, will people notice?). And as a result, I've spent the past two weeks in a steady state of anxiety. Not tear-your-hair-out anxiety, but rumble-in-the-stomach, underlying-sense-of-tension anxiety. And I cannot wait to be rid of it.
To heighten the anticipation, emails started circulating a couple days ago advertising end-of-exam happy hours and socials. It'll be fascinating to see what happens when people start streaming out of the library and into the bars. Chances are, I won't be the only one with a little more pep in my step.

Giving up the hot seat

It's the end of Q1 and this means, among other things, we all shuffle seats. For me, this will likely be a good thing. I sit in what is diplomatically referred to as a "hot seat," meaning I'm often a target for professors' cold calls. But, while I'll be happy to give that up, I'm kind of sad about the break up of my row. We're a good row (and look, we're so happy together!).

Accounting and Cherry Garcia

It's Saturday night and here I am: sitting on my bed, laptop screen up, surrounded by Accounting notes, a pint of Ben & Jerry's frozen yogurt in hand ... it's the weekend -- Darden final exam edition!
So, is this really what I signed up for when I decided to return to school after a 4-year hiatus? Of course it is.
Even on nights like tonight, when I want nothing more than to put down my copy of "Management Accounting" and turn on BRAVO, I know that sometime in the not-so-distant future I'll be thankful for the hours I spent learning manufacturing overhead allocation and drawing up statements of cash flow ... right?!
I guess this is where "trusting the process" comes in.

Small victories

Far too often I leave class still trying to get my head around the day's lessons. Today, however, was different. I have no idea how it happened, but I achieved clarity ... in all three of the classes I had today.
This is so rare, it deserves comment. Maybe even repetition (clarity!).
Now, I'm not saying I've mastered DA, Operations or Accounting -- far, far from it. I'm just saying that for the first time in what feels like ages, things clicked. And, as my eyes scanned from laptop screen to blackboard, a sense of contentment and even confidence pushed out the usual horror and confusion. At Darden, I've realized, these small victories need to be celebrated. I may even take an hour and go to the gym.

"So official"

Recently, one of my friends started asking me when my boyfriend and I were going "FBO," by which she meant "Facebook official." For those unversed in the wildly addictive world of online social networking, your Facebook profile offers you the option of declaring to the world (or at least, your 277+ "friends") that you are single, married, in a relationship, etc. If you're in a relationship, you can specify who you're in a relationship with and have their profile link to yours. And this, according to my friend, is an all-important sign of commitment -- kind of the 2008 version of exchanging ID bracelets and officially "going steady."
Well, my boyfriend and I decided to go FBO Friday. And apparently, people noticed. "SO OFFICIAL!" read one message I received.
Such a public announcement (especially when the audience includes acquaintances you haven't seen in years) is not in keeping with my usual style. Despite my new found blogging habit, I'm a relatively private person. And this relationship is pretty new (we met at Darden, after all).
Funny then, that in just a month, my relationship has accelerated to the point where I feel no qualms listing my relationship status right above my hometown. And this, like so much these days, I'm going to chalk up to the stress and pressures of business school.
In this frenzied and frustrating time, relationships can provide an important antidote to a long day. Just in this past week, my boyfriend has seen me pushed to tears over a particularly grueling set of cases. He's seen me question myself and question my ambitions. And he's responded with impressive calm, not only listening to me whine, but trying to convince me that really, everything will be just fine. Even in Decision Analysis.
So yeah, I snagged a good one. It's official.

Finals season

I'm about 12 hours away from my first Darden final and I'll probably get about 45 minutes more studying in before I settle into pre-exam relaxation mode ... that's right, relaxation mode.

I've always been a great believer in the benefits of a good night's rest. I don't cram. And really, I'm not sure cramming would help me any with my upcoming Marketing test. First, it's open note, so there's no need to memorize equations or concept definitions. Second, because of the case method, I've internalized (or at least, I hope I have) a lot of the course material through application and class discussion. And third, there's no way of predicting what kind of mini-case I may see when I open my test file in the morning.

... Not that I don't have my apprehensions. This is my first business school exam, after all, and I want to do well. It's just that by this time in my life, I've figured out what works for me: 8 hours of blissful, uninterrupted slumber.

Asking for help

As Q1 winds down and the days between me and my Marketing final tick away, I've thought a lot about what has made these first few weeks at Darden so tough. Some of these things (panic over a new identity, lack of adequate sleep and nutrition, etc.) I've already touched on. But here's a big one I've been pondering lately ... the need to ask for help.

Like many of my classmates, I arrived here in Charlottesville completely comfortable (and accustomed to) blazing my own trail and taking care of myself along the way. If I had a problem, I dealt with it and then reveled in that satisfying feeling of self-sufficiency. It sounds extreme, but I hated --almost viscerally-- having to reach out and ask for help. Rightly or wrongly (wrongly as it turned out), I equated help with weakness, and worse, reliance.

Hah. It took less than a week of classes to realize my previous go-it-alone style would leave me ill-equipped to deal with the rigors of Darden. Here, where I had cases to prepare, spreadsheets to build and accounting metrics to learn, I was out of my element and overwhelmed. If I didn't learn to rely on my peers, on my learning team and on my new friends, I simply wouldn't make it.

Since then, I've made a concerted effort to ask for help. Perhaps this sounds natural, even easy, but for someone who prides herself on her independence and grit, it's taken some getting used to. In reaching out to people and relying on them, I've had to confront the long-held belief that I could do everything --and anything-- entirely on my own. As I continue to come to grips with the fact that I can't and really, shouldn't, I've found that I'm learning more; that people are a lot more receptive to my questions than I thought they would be; and that maybe, just maybe, it's not so bad to show a little weakness now and then.

Back at it

Well, it's Monday again. Crazy how quick it comes, even after a three-day weekend. Yet this week, I've decided to try and do things a little differently: I've decided to make a conscious effort to work on my Darden/life balance. What does that mean?

First off, eating. This weekend, I went shopping for the first time in months. And, while trying on skirts at J.Crew, I noticed that my usual size was fitting a lot looser than it did pre-B-school. Typically, a realization like this would be welcome. But not when you know full-well that it comes as a result of not eating for so long that your growling stomach is audible from across the room.

Second, working out. In my real life, I'm a 6 to 7 day-a-week gym-goer. I know that sounds excessive, but for me, the gym is the place where I go to de-stress and let off some steam. Exercise keeps me sane. And believe me, I feel it when I don't go. Take last week 's minor meltdown as an example...

Third, downtime. Much as I love dissecting cases late into the night with my learning team, there comes a point when I need to pull myself away, steal half an hour for myself and relax. Sometimes this involves sharing a glass of wine with my roommate; other times, it's picking up a copy of The New Yorker and remembering the world outside Charlottesville. Recently, it's meant curling up on the couch with my significant other.

So there you have it, my plan for a balanced Darden existence. We'll see how realistic it proves to be.

Yay Thursday!

So excited about the end of a particularly trying week! But before I begin the weekend revelry, I wanted to type up some thoughts on a subject that gets Darden's halls a-buzzing: Business school dating.
A couple weeks ago, a friend of mine suggested I pick up the latest copy of "MBA Jungle." I had no idea what I'd find or why he'd suggested it. Then I saw the cover: "Study Partners," it read, "8 Laws of B-School Dating."
The article inside is hilarious. But perhaps more importantly, it drives home some interesting points. One is that relationships (and here I'm talking about inter-school relationships) become fodder for the rumor mill at breakneck speed.
As one-half of a new Darden relationship, I've experienced this first-hand. I've gotten the looks and answered the questions:
Q: "Are you dating?"
A: "Uhhh ... yes."
Q: "And how long have you known eachother?"
A: "A week and a half."
Harmless. Funny, even. And, as more and more of us pair off (and according to "MBA Jungle," we will), I think that's a good thing to note. Yes, it's weird dating in a very high school-like environment. But it can also be great. You just have to shrug off the winks and whispers.

Reinvention

It's resume-polishing time at Darden and the hours I've spent trying to craft interesting and engaging bullet points have made me a bit self-aware. Add to that a particularly salient Leading Organizations discussion on identity, and I've become downright introspective.
For the past three years, I've worked as a reporter in a relatively small town -- a town small enough that I'd see my sources everywhere from the cereal aisle at the grocery store, to the stairmaster at the gym and the barstool at the local watering hole. Everywhere I went, I was conscious of representing my newspaper and my work. I was a journalist, and everyone, it seemed, knew it.
So what happens now that I'm not; now that I have the opportunity to redefine who I am and what I do?
To be honest, I've struggled. Stepping away from a job as public and as 24-hour as mine, has really forced me to think about what I want out of life and the kind of impact I want to make. And that's a scary thing. For the first time since I graduated from college, I'm asking myself life's "big questions."
Admittedly, I'm not the only one. A large number of my current classmates are also career switchers and they too are being asked (through a particularly aggressive schedule of briefings and recruiting events) to reinvent themselves as prospective consultants, bankers and managers.
But I always thought of myself as the girl with the plan. The girl who knew what she wanted and had only to figure out a way to get it. So maybe I really face two identity issues now: who am I now that I'm not a reporter? And who am I now that I have no idea where I'll be in two years?