New blood, new blogs

This afternoon, the Darden Student Bloggers held its first meeting to welcome its new, Class of 2011 bloggers into the digital fold. As is typical of any b-school gathering, there was plenty of cheese-covered unhealthiness to nibble on as we introduced ourselves, discussed issues of privacy and censorship and talked blogs. Toward the end of the meeting, one of the first years turned to me and asked if I'd experienced any negative recruiting repercussions by being so open about my early struggles at Darden. The question made me pause. I've always looked at this blog as an opportunity to share, in real-time, my relatively unfiltered view of Darden. As a result, it was only natural that I chronicled my DA angst, my long --and sometimes sleepless --nights and my tear-filled Black November. No recruiter has asked me about the posts I've written, but if they did, I'd like to think I'd be proud of them. Sure, they highlight personal weakness. And yes, they call attention to a difficult and far-from-seamless transition. But they're also a testament to my ability to push through. My tenure at Darden has been riddled with moments of self-doubt, aching frustration and even, heartbreak. Yet you know that age-old maxim -- "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? Well, in this case, it's proved true. Each DA spreadsheet I made, each restless night I weathered, each crushing ding I cried over contributed to an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. Because of all these things, I truly believe I'm a stronger person and a better leader. And I don't mind the world (or at least the five people who read this blog) knowing that.

So, as you fresh-faced bloggers take to your keyboards, I urge at least a couple of you to consider being really frank and open about your time at Darden. Own up to the fear, admit to the worry and share the lows as well as the highs. In doing so, you may give up the shiny, near-perfect facade. But you'll get a series of posts that make you realize just how strong you are.

Reconnecting

A couple weeks ago, I took advantage of one of my reading day Fridays to drive two hours down to the bustling metropolis of Roanoke, Va. The Star City of the South. My home for three years.

I hadn't been back since I'd started at Darden and as I drove, I thought about how different my life is now from what it was just five years before when I'd made my first trip to Roanoke. At that point, I thought I'd be a journalist forever. I'd just moved from my native California back to Virginia and was excited to take on a new job, a new newsroom and a new community. But I didn't know a soul.

Fast-forward five years. I'm no longer a journalist. I've traded Southwest Virginia for Central Virginia. And I was heading back to Roanoke to reconnect with a few close friends -- people I'd grown to love and who had supported me as I embarked on a huge life change. At lunch and in a post-lunch meeting, I caught up on the goings-on at my old firm, shared my summer experiences and post-graduation job ambitions and just gossiped. It was fantastic -- like, warm, happy feeling in your stomach fantastic. I was reminded of the wonderful network of friends I have -- friends who care deeply and believe fully. Totally worth the two hour drive.

A night out with the girls

This past Tuesday, I enjoyed a regular night out with five of my favorite Darden ladies. Over dinner and wine we talked about Halloween misadventures, complained about problem sets and offered each other relationship advice. Pretty typical. But as chatter turned to the future, I realized how much I'd miss my girls when we parted ways post-graduation. Happy as I was to toast job offers and signing bonuses, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness that none of my friends' jobs were likely to take them to the Northeast.

I've said here many times how much I value the tight-knit Darden community and in particular, my close circle of friends. And it's true. I really believe that some of the best things I'll take away with me come May are the relationships I've made here ... well that, and a massive diploma.

The silver lining? As we were contemplating the menu at Maya ($12 Tuesdays!), I looked across the restaurant and spotted a table full of first-year women. Like us, they'd traded an extra hour with their cases for a little girl bonding. Nice choice, ladies.

My favorite time of year

... is just about now, when the temperatures start to dip into the '60s, the hills around Charlottesville transform under fall foliage and coffee shops start selling warm apple cider. With the hot, sticky summer a distant memory and a snowy winter still months away, it's time to pull on a sweater and explore the 'ville at its finest. Recently, my boyfriend and I took a "date day" and did just that, hiking and wine-tasting our way through some of the prettiest autumnal scenes around. It was a fantastic break from recruiting and case-reading -- the kind of day that puts everything in perspective. And as I sat outside Veritas, wine glass in hand and cheese plate in reach, I realized how lucky I was to be enjoying another fall in Charlottesville.

Time to get a J-O-B

... or at least, that's what the parade of stressed and suited Darden students would indicate. Yet I have not put on a suit all year. And I'm feeling the pressure. Big time. Problem is, the industry I have my heart set on - media - doesn't recruit on the same schedule or through the same process as other, more popular post-B-school industries, like banking and consulting. While other companies have visited Grounds, toting free water bottles and scouting for incoming MBA classes of 20 or 30, most media companies have no idea what openings they'll have next year. Which leaves me ... stressed.
Both a planner and a worrier, I have spent the last few weeks worrying about not having a plan. In some ways, this worrying has been good. It's spurred me to reach out to Darden alums, scour media websites for job listings and remind myself (sometimes hourly) that "everything will be fine." In other ways, however, this worrying has been ... bad. I've cried, complained and dragged myself around my apartment feeling woeful and sorry for myself. Not attractive. Not even to my very loving and supportive boyfriend.
Yet even in those dark moments, I know I'm on the right track. After all, no one said following your heart was easy.

3 more quarters to go! No!

This afternoon I handed in a take-home final, a paper and two projects and in that one trip to the Faculty Office Building, officially ended my first quarter of second-year. Instead of the usual post-exam euphoria, however, I felt kind of sad about the whole thing. I mean, with one quarter done, and only three more ahead of me, it's just a matter of months until I'm out of Darden and back in the real world. And I'm just not sure I'm ready for that.
See, Darden is like a wonderful cocoon. Sure, we feel job pressure and suffer through late night project work and presentation meetings, but we also spend our waking hours surrounded by our best friends, learning truly interesting things, protected by the student safety-net.
For almost a year and a half I've reveled in this free and easy existence. Yet now I'm starting to feel the clock tick down. All of a sudden, I'm worrying about finding a full-time job, moving to a new city, covering my looming loan payments -- all of the adult issues I'd managed to avoid while here in business school. And it's scary.
So ... who wants a Ph.D?

Second year!